Naked Frolics in the Bathroom (August 21st Evening)

I need to explain that another delegate to the conference supplied the title of this blog.

So, I have to share a Classic Sara Story. For those of you who know how my stories go and are disturbed by them either hang on for the ride or, well, skip to the next blog.

I'm going to use initials for names in this. I think you'll understand why.

This story takes a tad bit of background information. I have two fabulous roommates. AM, I've known for two years now. AF I just got to know. Both are very honest and authentic people who aren't afraid to be themselves and have fun; both are smart and vibrant people—I have grown to love, love, love them on this trip. HL is our psuedo-roommate and TA for this class. Basically, he never leaves. He's a very good listener and good intercessory for any, well, problem situations—he's become a good friend of mine this summer. We joke that we are HL's harem. He stays down the hall with Dr. D. and D. These are my good friends on this trip.

Our room has been difficult. It's very cold here right now since they're just coming out of winter. There are two panels on the wall that are supposed to heat our room. Um, not so much. At one point AM reached up to flip the 'on'-switch on (in the corner of the panel) and it broke off. So we've really only had one working panel for the majority of the trip. We've been putting water in our coffee pot to heat it up and pour in the bath-water, wash our faces, and help heat up the room a little. The bathwater is only warm for the first person in it. The lights go out every single night—I've spent a lot of time at the breaker-box (Americans and their crazy-voltage appliances).

Ok, there's the background information.

We got in last night and as usual I ran to the room to start the bath (before everyone else at the complex got the bright idea). AF had to get in and out of the bathroom before I grabbed my 5 minute bath. Well, on her way out of the bathroom, the door got jammed. We got it open and attributed it to the fact that I'd left a towel-wrap on the top of the door and she has closed the door on it. No big deal.

So, I got in the bath. It's the best part of the day because it's the only time I'm warm. Right when I got in the lights went out. This is a nightly occurrence by now so I griped for a minute, let my eyes somewhat adjust, and got on with my pitch-dark bath (fumbling around for my shampoo. I think everyone, at least once in their life, needs to try to shave their legs in the dark). When I got out, I wrapped a towel around me (even though I had clothes in the bathroom to put on) and reached for the handle (I was going to go ahead and dress in the room because it was warmer—the coffee pot was on!). Jammed. I looked up and the towel was still over the top of the door. I beat myself us for a minute having just repeated the same mistake AF had made. BUT the handle wouldn't even turn, so it obviously wasn't the towel that was the problem. I jiggled. Nothing. I pulled and pushed and kicked—nothing. The lock was stuck out (not in) so it wasn't as if the door was stuck in lock-mode. The door-knob was broken.

I yelled for my roomies, standing in the dark with a towel around me and beginning to feel the anxiety. Anyone who knows me, knows that my biggest downfall as a human being is that I absolutely cannot manage small spaces—elevators, airplanes, locked, dark bathrooms......AF ran to flip the breaker switch. AM went to get help.

The next thing I know, a very worried D. (a fantastic father figure on this trip) is on the other side of the door telling me not to worry (as I begin to cry). I said, “D! I don't have clothes on!” His response was, “Sara! I'm not gonna look!” (I cried harder). I quickly put the clothes on that were in the bathroom. By now I've really warmed up.

About 5 minutes later, I'm sitting on the toilet (no longer crying) anticipating sleeping in the bathroom. By now 3 men are on the other side of the door—Dr. D. (our professor), B. (the home owner who comes to our room at all times by now carrying a screw-driver), and D. who's still trying to calm me down a bit. I hear all sorts of jiggling, banging, scraping. Things sound intense at the door.

All the sudden I get this brilliant idea! I'll just climb out the window. I'm small enough that I can get through! So, I open the window only to find bars on the other side welded to the frame. Ugh. It's cool outside and because I'm hot from freaking out it feels good. I climbed up on the counter and sat at the open window singing “Nobody knows the trouble I've seen.” K. and L. (other girls on the trip) stick their heads out their backdoor laughing and me and asking me what's going on. I tell them I am locked in the bathroom and they geta good laugh. AF walks around to the window to keep me company. HL stuicks his head out his window next door to talk. By now B. has gone us to his house to get a drill. About 20 minutes have passed in the dark, wet, cold bathroom when Dr. D. and D., complete with Superman theme, bust through the door with a bent and broken knife in hand that has rescued me from my prison cell. I hug them both, remind Dr. D. that he has a daughter too, and ask D. if I can use his phone to call my mom whom I immediately call to tell this story. She didn't sound a bit surprised. Trouble seems to follow me and although I've not elaborated, this is not the first trouble of the trip for me.

One would hope that the story ends there. Not-so-much.

Things have calmed down. Dr. D. and D. have gone to bed. HL is hanging out with us watching Alias and snacking (we've been very hungry at night). AF grabs a quick bath. AM gets ready for hers. It's best to grab them while there's hot water. I tell AM before she goes in the bathroom, “Don't close the door!” The door still has what B. refers to as a “Buggard” door-knob. I won't venture to explain the English-equivalent of “Buggard” here.

AM starts the water and gets ready for her bath. AF, HL, and I are hanging out when all of the sudden we hear a choice expletive from the bathroom. AM has closed the “Buggard-knobbed” door. Dr. D. and D. are already in bed. We grab the knife and start at it. AM is just as frustrated but a bit more embarrassed than I was on the other side of the door. We have no luck with the door.

HL. runs to wake up Dr. D. (who by the way, actually gives us grades for this trip!) to come to, once again, jiggle the door. Dr. D., in all of 2 minutes, breaks AM out of the bathroom. He then asks us to come and get him when AM is finished with her bath so he can come back and put a breath-right nasal strip over the knob so that we CANNOT POSSIBLY get locked in the bathroom again. (The whole time I'm thinking, “I'm not so sure that's going to work.”) So, AM goes back in the bathroom to take her bath with the door open about 2 feet. HL has strict instructions to stay away from the bathroom because AM is bathing with the door open.

About 4 minutes later we hear a light tap on the door (not at all a knock). None of us can figure out if someone has actually knocked on the door. So, I go and put an ear to the door. I listen for a second and hear in a very quiet voice, “HL?” (Dr. D. is on the other side of the door again). HL traipses over, without thinking about the fact that the bathroom is right behind him, and opens the door. Dr. D. comes in and all we hear is a muffled scream from the bathroom. (remember the door is open and all of the sudden our professor and TA for the class are both standing there—AM is bathing in the bathroom). Dr. D. quickly comes further into the room. AM is still somewhat screaming from the bathroom. HL is rolling in the floor blushing. I'm screaming into a pillow with laughter and embarrassment for AM, AF is doing the same, and Dr. D. is standing in the middle of the room imploring, “I didn't see anything! I didn't see anything!”

Oh what a night.

Dr. D. and HL, later, rigged our “Buggared” doorknob so that we wouldn't lock ourselves in the bathroom again (and consequently, have to come wake him up again).

This morning has been full of embarrassed giggles all around. Anyone think we'll get an A for this class? I'm starting to doubt it! LOL!!!

Off to the market in a bit and to a fun dinner tonight with our new professor of Homiletics friend from Oklahoma. I'm sure this day will be filled with blessings and positive, with my luck, more Classic Sara Stories.